Texts: "Therefore shall o man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

"For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh" (Ephesians 5:31).

Thomas Manton: "The Devil has a great spite against the kingdom of Christ, and he knows no such compendious way to crush it in the egg, as by the perversion of youth, and supplanting of family duties..." (from a letter found in the Preface to the 1851 edition of the Westminster Confession of Faith).

Marriage is a divine institution. The home was established before the "church", and the marriage relationship is older for man than worship itself. Since marriage was introduced by God before sin entered into the world, marriage ante-dates the sacrificial system. "And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man" (Genesis 2:22).

Marriage: A Divine Institution

When God presented Eve to Adam, He performed the first marriage. By this act, God gave His blessing to the marriage-bed. "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the LORD" (Proverbs 18:22)

In all creation, loneliness was the first thing God saw that was not good. "And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone’" (Genesis 2:18). Marriage therefore an honorable institution. " Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).

Marriage was natural for Adam and Eve as man and woman. When God brought Eve to Adam, He gave the example that men and women are to follow. Marriage is a public institution. God made it so. Only sinful things demand secrecy. Marriage is a time for rejoicing. It is an honorable time. There is no shame in marriage, but young people make their bed in trouble who do not have the consent of their parents, and elope thinking they can put behind them their parents’ displeasure. God will rise up in judgment, and will support the disapproval of their parents, even if the parents are not themselves Christians. The gradual familiarity of the prospective in-law, coupled with earnest prayer to the Lord could have "strangely warmed" the hearts of those who disapproved.

Marriage is a religious institution. For this reason, the marriage ceremony is often performed in a church by a minister of the gospel, it is a serious institution because it affects families until the end of time. It concerns the spiritual well being of the family as well as their temporal peace. Marriage is nothing with which to toy. Consequently, an engagement, is not a game. God views an engagement as a marriage yet to be formalized. A violation of an engagement constitutes adultery (Matthew 1:16-21).

Marriage is a binding institution, 1.) By virtue of creation: in the beginning God made man male and female. 2.) It is binding by virtue of Him who created man. 3.) Marriage is binding by virtue of the purpose for which man was created, i. e. that they should be "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). 4.) It is binding by virtue of the nature of the institution: "... He which made them at the beginning made them male and female..." (Matthew 19:4). 5.) Marriage is binding by virtue of divine command, for He said, "For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh"(vs. 5). 6.) Marriage is binding by virtue of the union in marriage. "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (vs. 6), 7.) Marriage is binding by virtue of the example the first husband and wife. "Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so" (vs. 8). 8.) Marriage is binding virtue of the evils of separation. "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" (vs. 9).

"They are no more twain, but one flesh" (Matthew 19:6a). Tertullian wrote, "What a union of two believers: one hope, one vow, one discipline, one worship! They are brother and sister, two fellow servants, one spirit and one flesh. Where there is one flesh, there is also one spirit. They pray together, fast together, instruct, exhort, and support each other. They go together to the church of God, and to the table of the Lord. They share each other’s tribulation, persecution, and revival. Neither conceals anything from the other; neither avoids, neither annoys the other.

"They delight to visit the sick, supply the needy, give alms without constraint, and in daily zeal, lay their offerings before the altar without scruple or hindrance...Psalms and hymns they sing together, and they vie with each other in singing to God. Christ rejoices when He sees and hears this, He gives them His peace" (Great Leaders of the Christian Church by Elgin Moyer, Moody Press, 1951, p. 86).

"They two shall be one flesh", wrote the Apostle (Ephesians 5:31). The Son of God enunciates this truth, saying, "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh" (Matthew 19:6). But are they "one flesh" when a husband and a wife each has his own career? Are they "one flesh" when each has his own bank account and insurance? Are they "one flesh" who part on Sunday mornings each to visit his own church? How are they "one flesh"? If a wife refuses to take the name of her husband, but insists upon retaining her maiden name, how are they "one’?

It may be asked, "Why should a wife take the name of her husband? Why should not a husband take the name of his wife?" The reason is that it is by God’s ordination that "the husband is the head of the wife" (Eph. 5:23). The husband and wife are "one flesh." The wife is to show reverence to her husband, and to submit to his authority; however, she is not his slave. The husband is to love his wife. She has the right to all his love. The husband who does not love his wife disobeys God. They are "one flesh." Neither has the right to strike, or to curse the other. The husband who is bitter against his wife, or who strikes, or curses her, shames his profession of faith: and the wife who is cross, pouty, or nagging shames her profession of faith. They are one in purpose -- one flesh.

Although the husband is the "head of the wife," if a wife has more knowledge of the Bible, may not she assume the spiritual head of the home? NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! If she does, the children will rebel, and the home, that with God’s blessing is a haven of rest amid the storms of life, will be fraught with turmoil. It cannot be otherwise.

A wife who truly is more pious than her husband will seek to influence her husband and her children in the things of the Lord while exercising great care not to take the spiritual leadership from her husband whose it is by God’s ordination. If she asserts herself, the children will rebel, and the husband will become embittered against the things" of the Lord. This writer has seen this a thousand times, but he has never seen such a home that did not suffer turmoil.

Christians reserve their greatest love for God. They are guilty of idolatry who place husband, or wife, or children first in their lives because they reverse the created order. But, marital love has limits because marriage ends with death. Where excessive grief is expressed at the death of a husband, or a wife, or of a child, it is certain that love has been too highly regarded.

Isaiah wrote, "For thy Maker is thine husband" (Is 54:5). Believers are married to Christ, and from this marriage, even death cannot sever them. God has designed marriage between a man and a woman as an earthly comfort. Therefore, when irritations rise -- and they will, they must not be dwelt upon or repeated over and over. Beware of the "continual dropping", for Solomon in his great wisdom wrote, "the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping" (Prov. 19:13b); and a continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike" (Prov. 27:15).

Therefore, "Let not the sun go down upon your wrath", wrote the Apostle (Eph. 4:26). Bear the burdens of the day the day. "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" (Matt. 6:34). To remember past offenses will separate dearest friends. "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends" (Prov 17:9). There can be no perfection expected from the children of Adam. Therefore, we ought to be patient and meek, tenderhearted, forgiving one another. No child of Adam can bring joy and happiness that only God can give. Therefore, a husband or a wife who thinks only of romance can not be happy because they can never be satisfied.

God has established laws in marriage. When a husband or a wife neglects these laws, God is provoked because it is He who established them. For instance, the Spirit of God forbids a Christian to marry an unbeliever (II Cor. 6:14-18). But other inequalities should also be considered such as educational, financial, and racial. If Noah’s sons were Shem, Ham, and Japheth, and "by those was the whole earth overspread" (Gen. 9:l8, 19), then Shem, Ham and Japheth should not homogenize their families but be able to greet the Lord when He returns to earth (Acts 1:11).

Beware as well of religious inequalities. If a man and woman marry with different denominational backgrounds, or have memberships in different churches of the same denomination, it is better to discuss this before marriage takes place. And, beware lest quarrels arise and cause you to live separately, either in separate homes, or in separate beds. If this occurs, Satan has the advantage.

-- (previously written article by Pastor Timothy Fellows and chosen by him for this issue.)

__________________

Pastor Fellows is getting progressively better in speech and strength. When he says the alphabet, he often begins and finishes in French! He can copy with difficulty, but can not write on his own -- which thing he greatly desires to do. He can walk fairly well and can even drive; however, we just take him down dirt roads for now.

The Lord has truly worked a miracle for him – which people continue to acknowledge when they see him. He often responds to people, "I’m still here" and "I just want to be useful!" We trust that in God’s good time, He will grant him the desire of his heart.

We are grateful for the many cards, letters, phone calls, and gifts that have come in at this time of trial. Please continue to pray for us.

_________________________________________________________________________

A question, answered both ways --

then that preacher must needs be a man of ability and a man who focuses on ability. He must be "talented", "gifted", "prepared." There are many who would not therefore qualify.

then he must needs spend much time working on "delivery", "polish" and "poise" -- his "presentation" is vital.

then any lack of ability would be detrimental to his cause; so, his ability is a means to the destruction or the salvation of his hearers.

then such a preacher shares a credit in the salvation of his hearers as well as a responsibility for the damnation of his hearers.

then he is a type of mediator between his hearers and God and holds the eternal destiny of his flock in his hands.

then the number of his converts reveals his ability – and thus his calling.

then Noah, who preached for 120 years but could only "persuade" his immediate family to enter the ark, was a man of little ability; so were Jeremiah, Ezekiel and all the other Old Testament prophets except for Jonah -- who was the model prophet in the Old Testament.

then such a preacher will try all the persuasive, psychologically-motivating means to getting to his desired end.

then that preacher need not be a man of ability to be called of God. (Exodus 4:10-12 Note that God did not "counsel" Moses to try to find his "hidden talents"; He simply told him, "Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.")

then that preacher can be a farmer (I Kings 19:19 Elisha), a shepherd    (Amos 1:I Amos), a fisherman (Mark 1:16-18 Simon and Andrew). He can be blind, lame and deaf. He can dress strangely and eat revolting food (Mark 1:6 John the Baptist).

then such a preacher, realizing that he can do nothing to influence his hearers, will spend less time with himself and more time with Him who can (Gen. 18:23-25 Abraham; Ex. 32:7-14 Moses).

then such a preacher will not frantically wonder when his faculties fail him and his old nature assails him, how many he has lost due to his inability (II Cor. 12:9-10 Paul).

then such a preacher can take no glory for the saved hearers (Jon. 2:9; 4:1-3 Jonah) nor responsibility for the damned hearers (Ezek. 33:9 The Watchman).

then such a preacher can rest assured every time he faithfully proclaims "the foolishness of preaching" that he always triumphs in Christ and is "unto God a sweet savour of Christ, in them that are saved, and in them that perish" (II Cor. 2:14-17).

then such a preacher will not therefore be judged according to his ability but according to his faithfulness (Matt. 25:21).